The Downfall of Leadership

Changing my stance on leadership aspects; ungrateful followers are the worst. They are like cancer.

Once they start to reproduce the negative vibe on the very idea they complied to, it becomes very hard to control. Your options become limited and expansion is not one of them. Chemotherapy is known to be most effective, but then it takes away more than it gives back.

The fundamental destruction begins at the very sense of accomplishment followed by praise which is hard to swallow for some, but then again, what can they do other than comply and wait for one little mistake, an element of negligence. Only if you are naive enough to give them the opportunity, the odds are utter decimation.

To begin with, you try to stay calm while justifying your actions in light of slight anger or frustration which soon changes to aggressiveness towards those that are now determined to highlight your slight negligence over and over again. So much for the effort that got you a place above others, it has no weight, at least not anymore.

In stages to come, compliance starts to fade away and civil arguments give rise to the ruination of the very idea that would win you your race against your competitors. As a result, you stop being as motivated and enthusiastic as before, only to let the very energy loose that had got you a place better than many.

Last stage; the polluted vibe is now stronger and more famous than the very idea. The collapse of your supporting courage begins to end up with the whole system at stake, more or less polluted.

Damage control is your last chance at saving all that there is left.


Having to let go through decimating your dreams and beyond

To find yourself in love is blooming but having to deal with it’s repercussions is just a question of audacity. love today can be linked to skepticism because if you’re this naive, you’re just a fool going down the drain with nothing but obliterated feelings.

The philology of love is as old as poetry, and poetry is as old as human existence. I wonder what this love would look like if it could be physically seen, for most part i think it would be ugly. Now, because we in the literal world believe that everything fades away, it is right to say love too fades away. Whatever fades away looks ugly, so it’s safe to say love too is ugly.

The nativity of love is heart and heart is believed to be the strongest of muscle, so how more amazing can it be that love strikes to weaken the strongest muscle, only to begin the downfall of  the finest creation of GOD.

As captivating as it may sound, love gives you the proper head start to the ambit of ruination in assistance with the discrepancy of it’s first and last rule, being honest and not fake.

The catharsis to love is still considered as something taboo. Until there is remedy to love, I rest my case.

GO Carting




Yup! That’s me in blue jeans and the green helmet. You know when people say “addiction “well, I’ll tell you one thing, they were dead right about “adrenaline rushes”. I’ve had a thing for fast precision driving ever since I wanted to learn to drive and over the time I seem to have mastered some of the skill sets needed to be an excellent precision driver, at least that’s what the spectators say.

Not long ago, an accident had taken away my confidence, my confidence to drive fast while maintaining the ultimate standards of precision and accuracy, both in terms of handling and speed. Needless to say that it was reckless of me to be so wild because it’s actually dangerous (I can’t believe I’m saying this but it’s rather true). The amount of risk you put yourself in by taking it to the next level is equal to standing in front of a howling train at a speed you know it won’t stop, and will run over you or anyone/anything else for that matter.

It was a Saturday afternoon, a cloudy one and I was waiting for an old school friend to pick me up. Later that day, while having lunch we decided to go to this place in Lake View Park where there was a Go carting circuit, we both had heard about such a place but never had visited. So after a 30 minute drive we reached the park only to know that we were in the wrong section of it. We asked for directions and started walking until we saw the long high powered flood lights and stopped. I was looking at him and he was at me, “Man! Why didn’t we come here before”, I said. He replied “dude! “Let’s just do this”. Since we both were formula F1 fans, our excitement level got a little alleviated, okay, not a little it was out to the sky. Upon reaching the counter and getting through all the process of ticketing and signing the legal page which said that they will not be responsible in case of death or any damage. Well! We didn’t care anyhow, we were just excited to be here.  Getting the perfect helmets and getting into the go carts seemed as if this was it, it of our lives. Nothing seemed more important than doing this thing right at the time and yes we made that angry face to each other saying “Eat my dust Bitch” and “ prepare to meet your annihilator” and what not.





So of we set at the checkered flag after the practice round at the grid. “I had 15 minutes to live life”, this is how I can explain my feelings. The sweet sound of your engine revs and the heavy back blow of your hydraulic steering wheel and the narrow edges is all I could pay attention to. Making every moment count, every turn, every straight leg and every chance to make your lap count. I felt cold and unrealistic until on one narrow turn I almost tallied out and flash back from that horrible accident hit me, for a sec or two I was in my dream mode, for what brought me back was the pit crew waving the flag that it was my last lap, I set my fears aside and hit the paddles like never before, forgot that brakes were ever an option and made to the finish line.

Taking of the helmet and moving towards the score board, pointing at each other and saying “I own you Bitch” came to realize that all fears can be overcome if you only try. Try with the dedication.


For me it was the last lap.

“Courage is not the absence of fear”

the delemna of night

Moving towards a slightly hindered start of the new face in light that is much awaited and recalled as “letting it go”.

If you see it from my perception, it gives an outlook of something so complex that human biology might be more easy to understand and analyze. To find salvation in today’s world is far from easy, not only do you need to struggle for what you seek but you also have to explore the illuminated self providing misconceptions that will blow you away, so keeping in mind that in today’s world following the path you desire will set a blaze to the one’s surrounding it, as captivating as it sounds, you begin to fall.

I see for the sins i have done but none of the illusions illustrate what i want to see, does that mean i am vivid? nope, not me! well, for no apparent reasons i am back where i was. i thought this was my chance to bloom and make a significant change in my life but as the legend holds it, “nothing goes as planned” .  I still hope for a way out, out to shine and shine like diamond.

what a shitty world i must say!!!!


i tried to give words to my thoughts but this time i couldn’t do it. i sat down and stared the screen for hours but whatever i worte felt incomplete. its a havoc. 

blown away

i feel so canny, even for the things that are most dear to me. i just feel like escaping into a dark mindless world that crosses every boundary for vividness, something that gives me peace and calm so i may bloom for a sunshine that may last till eternity. i want to shut down for a while, stay that way and not think, just stay blank and then maybe reboot and see if i can get things back to normal. maybe this is my super ego talking but the one thing that makes me feel i need to shut down is my eyes, because the eyes say it all. needless to say that im so captivated by the shear presence of my indulgence in  the kinesis activities that i have lost so much for the reality.

the need to shut down is clear, i am in dire need to do so, and so i shall.

with love

this wonderful life and its fruits.

bad times but good learning

Peace too comes at a price. I was all bubble wrapped in my harmless naïve world until it hit something pointy and the bubbles started to pop up, one by one until there were none left. I was exposed to the vivid less world I in live. I am confused, maybe because this is actually the first time I have ever felt so possessive of someone that I forget; I am a no body, I have no say, I have no right. I am just a youthful naïve who just won’t understand the rude principals of sanity. And the worst part is, in the end I drown to be forgotten, because I am a no body to anybody.
For the first time in my life, I felt butterflies trying to burst through my gut, they gave me the best of feelings, the worst of worry and the ability to go beyond, over the limits defined by my inner self just to explore and take on a venture so wild, so exhilarating that I out of exuberance tend to forget the consequences. I hope for mercy as I am weak, and some recognition as I am naïve. I am new to this beastly world and its hashing beasts.